Going down the oral road...

It's pretty simple, in recent studies from the Kinsey Institute shows that oral sex is the most fantasized about sex act.

One of the oldest known fellatio stories dates back to the ancient story of Isis and Osiris. Osiris had been murdered by his brother Set, dismembered and his parts flung across the world. Isis, the distraught wife of Osiris sought out and found all of his various body parts less his penis. Isis unwilling to leave her husband dead, or demasculated without his penis, she molded one from clay and commenced to bring her dead husband back from the dead through "blowing" life into him through his penis.

Other depictions of oral sex are written in the Song of Songs, Circa 10th Century BC, when taken in the plain and literal sense without allegory. Though this is up for debate among many religious scholars, I'm sure some of whom would cringe at my mention. (sorry) Another "ancient" writing created in the Ramesside period, the Turin Erotic Papyrus dated around 1292-1075 BC, clearly shows regardless of interpretation that the ancients were enamoured with sex in all its various forms, even oral.

I recently read an article that stated, basically, oral sex is a product of porn, blah blah blah and yadda yadda yadda. I respectfully read the article while struggling to control my own gag reflex. Regardless, to each their own and for all the anti-oral men & women out there, I promise not to assault you with my mouth, lips or tongue (as if that would ever happy anyway).

Anyhoo, there are a couple of things that oral sex is and is not. Let's do the "Nots" first...

Oral sex is not
Shameful
painful
Embarrassing
Used to degrade or debase
Dirty
Unhealthy
Perverted
Unnatural
Safe from STD's

Oral sex is
A way to explore your partner.
A way to express a higher level of intimacy.
Direct stimulation of the sexual or other erogenous zone by the mouth or tongue.
A means to increase the likelihood of female orgasm.
Oral sex is SEX, (yes some people don't think of Oral sex as Sex)
A way to enjoy your partner without the risk of pregnancy.

Issues that tend to creep up with oral sex. For most men I have talked to about oral sex, this is an activity that they thoroughly enjoy and would like to have that feeling of completion but are often left without it. Yes, they want to orgasm during fellatio. The issue is that more than a few of us women have gag reflexes that either prevent us from taking him all the way or when we do result in a series of dry heaves that ruin the mood. So what can we do about this, I suggest that you grab a box of flavored condoms. Yes, the wonderful condom is more than just for prevention of STDs and pregnancy. It is a tool we can use to complete, extend and more thoroughly enjoy a sexual activity we otherwise may not be able to. Yes, the Dental Dam will provide the same effects as a condom for the ladies.

Oral sex is a completely natural sex act and is observed in the animal world. Hyenas engage in oral sex, Chimps, Goats, and other Monkeys engage in oral sex as acts of pleasure, cleansing as well as bonding and intimacy.

If you are in an intimate relationship, and are looking to increase your sexual prowess but find yourself shying away from oral sex take just a moment and challenge those ideals that are holding you back. The idea that oral sex is "nasty" or "dirty" came about in the Victorian era and those idea have continued at least to my generation. Though it was practiced openly and without impunity or shame for thousands of recorded years and I'm quite certain in pre-recorded history as well.

So get down, go down, most importantly and as always....

Stay Curvy

XOXO

If you groom it...

they will come. OMG, I so just did the Kevin Costner Baseball movie thing quote kinda. Anyhoo

Today's topic is personal grooming. This is gonna be a short one, but still important in the area of intimacy and sexual satisfaction. If you're a woman like me, there are days when I do the ankle to knee shave and call it done because really, those extra 2 minutes to wrap up the shave I just don't have. What I do have is more demands on my time than actual time. If I had 36 hours in the day, I'd go for the full shave and pedi scrub. I don't and neither do you, or if you do please tell me how!!!!

So, shaving the coochy. Did you realize that it takes on average half an hour to get a clean, slick shave on the cooch? OMG who would have thought that getting that shave would take longer than shaving our legs? There are a couple of things you need to get before you start the shave.

1. Use only high quality, multi blade razors. Preferably one with a pivoting head. I use a 5 blade, yes they are a little more expensive, but the results are well worth it. No nicks, scrapes or pulls.

2. Use a good shaving oil to act as a barrier between your skin and the razor. I love the "Barely There Miracle Oil". If you google shaving oils, you will have a great selection of shaving oils to use if you choose not to use the Barely There Miracle Oil.

3. Also make sure you are using a good shave cream. While I choose the Barely There Miracle Oil I also use Coochy Shave Cream as the shaving cream. Do NOT for the love of awesomeness use soap. You will end up with what I like to call the "Burning Bush" look. If you are going to take the time to groom it, do it well or don't do it at all. Trust me, you do not want to deal with itch and appearance of razor burn or the lovely ingrown hair follicles that will inevitably follow.

4. Find a silicone labia guard. (I know, what the hell is a labia guard) This is a neat little tool you can use to protect the clitoris & labia minora or your inner VaJayJay lips. Cause a cut here will hurt, A LOT!

5. Make sure you have on hand an aftershave powder or light water-based lotion. I have used the Coochy Aftershave Powder, but found that baby powder worked just as well. When I'm putting on the sexy black I do use the Coochy Aftershave Protection Mist only to avoid the white powder trail on my panties, dress, the floor and everywhere else I end up getting it.

6. Keep handy a small mirror, so you can get a good view of what still needs to be groomed and how your progress is going.

7. Have on hand a good exfoliating wash, a sugar scrub or exfoliating mitt.

Ok so now you have the tools, let's get to shaving.

Before you jump in the tub or shower, trim it up. The shorter the hair to start with the less stress or use on the razor. If you are shaving in the bathtub, make sure it's nice and warm and you soak for 10 to 15 minutes. If you are showering, again spend a good 10 to 15 minutes to relax the hair follicle. Exfoliate and use the shave oil over the area to be shaved. This way you are putting that protective barrier between your skin and the razor. Set the labia guard in place, slather on that shaving cream, on your mark get set, go.

Once you begin the shave, follow the growth on the first round then reapply shave cream and go opposite the growth on the second round. Avoid going over the same spot multiple times as doing so will cause irritation. Once you finish, use your mirror to check how well you did. If you find you've missed a spot, repeat with the shave oil, cream and follow the growth then opposite the growth on the final round.

When you are finished, pat the cooch dry and apply either the aftershave powder, protection mist, the Barely There Miracle Oil, witch hazel or Hydrogen Peroxide will go a long way to prevent skin infections and ingrown hairs as well.

If you are leaving a little landing strip I suggest conditioning these remaining pubic hairs, there is pubic conditioner cream on the market as well but I just re-apply my Coochy Shave Cream and it seems to keep them from being to coarse pokey like.

There seems to be a few schools of thought on grooming the cooch, it depends on the person. From a hygienic point of view, the less hair you have in that area, the less odors are able to attach to the hairs. Because there's fewer hair. (Face Palm) If you choose not to shave, but want that silky smooth feel there are other options out there. Waxing, laser treatments etc... If you choose to keep all your hair, I do suggest a nice trim. Or of course, you can always go all natural. It's completely up to you and what you are comfortable with.

There are some benefits to the barely there grooming for sexual satisfaction. If you have this nest of curlies down there, it acts almost as a barrier during intercourse. Another layer hiding the already hidden and protected clitoris. One of the best orgasms a woman can have is a combo g-spot and clitoris. Plus, removing some of the hair (or all) gives your lover comfortable access when performing cunningulus, no one really wants a pube floss. (True story, I Promise)

A final note, sometimes those long wiry pokey hairs can get in places that are uncomfortable. So again, if you groom it, they will come and so will you. You don't have to go totally bare, but do fix your hair down there with the same attention you fix the hair on your head. Have fun, if you're super daring have your lover shave it for you. You can find most if not all the above mentioned products at Curvies After Midnight.

I know for some of you super groomers out there this might seem a little redundant, but I cannot even count how many times I've spoken to people who suffer from perpetual "Burning bush" and or other shaving related issues. Male grooming to follow tomorrow so hold on to your boxers or briefs guys, I'll get to you next. :D Either way, dare to be bare or keep it all there have fun, be safe and as always...



Stay curvy!!!!

XOXO

To Dam or Not To Dam

Yes, that is the question. All too often the term safe sex is associated with drudgery and lack of spontaneity. However, if planning is such a big f'ing deal remember that you will still have to schedule your doctor appointments when you end up with that lovely sore on your upper lip. I'm just saying.

I have always suggested that ladies take some responsibility in this area. Carry with you some condoms in your purse or wallet. Do remember though that these do require some attention, that dusty, wrinkled, cracked thing you've had tucked away in your wallet for the last year or so is probably no good anymore. Toss it and get a package of fresh ones. While you're at it, grab a package of Dental Dams!!!!

Anyhoooo, on to the subject. Seems we've been lacking in some understanding. Safe sex includes safe Oral sex as well. Most people tend to think of this in a male perspective, if you wrap it you're safe. But what about for the guys and gals who love to perform Cunningulus or Anilingus? It might smell like roses and taste like strawberries but even so it might pack a punch that is not obvious. Dental Dams are a fun, tasty, safe treat for those awesome givers out there, and they cost a whole lot less than medical and dental visits.

What the hell is a "Dental Dam" some of you are asking, simply put it's a condom for the VaJayJay. It is a flat latex (generally) sheet that provides a barrier between the vagina & anus of the receiver and the mouth of the giver. You can find these in flavored and scented as well. Best of all, they are reasonably priced and fairly easy to find online. Google Dental Dam or check out www.curviesaftermidnight.com.

Use of a dental dam is much like use of a condom. When you unwrap it, check to make sure there are no holes, do NOT use if it appears to be cracked or brittle. Using one side only, cover the vulva and anus of the receiver and dive in holding the dental dam in place as you do so.

Some common do's and dont's:

Do Not reuse or share.
Do Not use Oil-Based Lubricants.
Do Not use lubes that are NOT water based or sticky near a woman's VaJayJay.
Do Not expose both sides to the VaJayJay. (one is for licking and one is for sticking)

Do protect yourself from HIV/AIDS and other STD's.
Do find Water-Based lubricants.
Do find some that taste good or are flavored.
Do use a new one every time.
Do keep some on hand. (Just in case)

So ladies and gentlemen if oral is a part of your sexual dexterity remember to keep on hand a condom for fellatio and a dental dam for cunningulus and anilingus. While no prophylactic is 100% effective 100% of the time: if used properly a Dental Dam can go a long way to protect against many sexually transmitted diseases as well as HIV/AIDS. Just remember if you like sex as much as I do and want to continue to have sex for years to come you have to take measures to protect yourself and your partner. Safe sex doesn't have to be prudish, boring or planned. If you are always prepared for anything, you can have everything!

Stay curvy!

XOXO