Remember when I said...

that is was important to shake things up in 2013


I suggested that ladies learn some sexy moves?  Sadie is the most viewed Belly Dancer on youtube. If you can't see why, then I'm so done talking to you.  :D

Now, I've had a love affair with belly dancing for as long as I can remember.  Watch this video and get inspired.  Really, the benefits of belly dancing are tremendous.  I mean in addition to the fabulous, awesomely sexy costumes.  Ok fine , that's the first benefit, but the others are just as important.

So here are my top tens for starting a belly dance class or video program.

1)  Awesome costumes.  No really these are freaking fantabulous!


See, told ya fantabulous costumes, IJS


2)  Cardio.  I know doc, that should have been first but did you see the costume?  Duh, priorities.  Anyhoo, Cardio YES Yes Yes.  Belly dance is a fabulous form of cardio exercise.  Happy ♥!

3)  Improved posture.  The moves of Belly Dance rely on a strong core, and spine.  Proper posture in performing the dance is imperitave and far reaching in that the moves transfer into our every day life and posture.

4)  Increased blood circulation. Yes all those shimmies, shakes and pops will get that blood flowing in all the right places.

5)  Improved muscle tone.  Undulating hips, hip drops and arm stances will improve your core muscles as well as your lower and upper body.

6)  Weight loss.  Cardio + Movement + Muscle memory = Weight Loss  Simple math, and sexy fun.

7)  Stress reduction.  Dancing, exercise, cardio all go a long way to reduce stress.  Belly Dance can also increase our self-esteem & sex drive thus reducing our stress levels further.

8)  No - Low Impact exercise.  Traditional Raqs sharqi is considered by medical professionals as no to low impact while more rural or tribal types of belly dance like Beledi may be low impact due to the step force of the dancer.

9)  Arm strengthening without bulk.  Holy batwings sisters, Belly Dance tones up the arms in a way like nothing outside of it and without bulking up.

10)Aid in digestion.  All those belly undulations help with digestion.  It's true, google it!  Not to mention that the core strengthening while assisting in digestion it also helps to improve and ease childbirth and works the pelvic muscles!

Oh and did I mention it's super sexy.  The muscle memory of belly dance relays directly to the bedroom and the moves, those undulations, hip drops and thrusts are oh so fun to employ in both the tease and the please stages of sex and intimacy.

There are about 697,495.3 dvds out there dedicated to belly dance, each one with its own merits.  Also most urban areas will have a zumba class and if you can find that, you can find a belly dance class as well.  There are a tonne of resources online just for sexy belly dancers out there.

I've been belly dancing for years, for sexy fun and stress relief.  One of the things that I love about belly dance (aside from super sexy) is that it's not size restrictive.  I have seen some gorgeous curvy chickas shake and shimmy right along with their skinny sisters.

So get active, stay safe, start those shimmies and as always...


Stay Curvy...

To bare

or not to bare... This is the question. There are a lot of ways to bare yourself to your lover. But the baring I'm talking about is the body bare. ;) getting' nakie, nude, naked, without clothing, baring the goodies, flashing the stuff, showing the cookie. How ever you term it getting naked in front of our lovers can be both exhilarating and intimidating. (Unless you're a professional model or dancer! IJS)

Awesome image post on tumblr by SlowRider655

Now I can only write from the aspect of a woman, but I have to imagine that the gamut of emotions we run through when getting naked has to be similar to that of what men must go through as well. It's serious business getting naked in front of someone. (and big business as well) It takes some courage and for me at least took a few years of small steps to get comfortable just being naked in the presence of my honey outside the purpose of sex that is.

It's relatively easy to get naked for sex, but being naked and getting naked just for the sake of being and getting naked is a stretch for most people I talk with. Also, appropriate times for nakedness can be hard to come by if you have a family. IJS, no one really wants to sit down at the dinner table on fried chicken night with nakedness all about. Now desert night while the kids are at camp, sure go for it.

I think it may be more our culture that makes us weary of being naked just for the sake of being naked. Yet, we are bombarded with near nudity fairly regularly, we contend back and forth about the human form and what should and should not be displayed. We can all appreciate the human body in one way or another it's a beautiful thing.

We find ourselves easily getting naked to shower or bathe, near naked for a dip in the pool or beach, and lingerie only adds to the sexiness of our naked. Still, getting naked just to be naked is something that we often avoid, don't ever even think about or find ourselves skeeved out by the suggestion. Now, I've read lots of material on the benefits of being naked, brought to you by the good people who gave us the Kama Sutra (you're welcome). I've also read a mountain of Cosmo's giving us instruction on how to strip etc...

I forever it seemed would try these tips and tricks only to fall flat on my face, dive beet red under the covers or make a mad dash to the light switch to turn it off. It wasn't until I decided to just be naked for a half an hour every other day for no reason other than being naked. It's a strange thing to think about and make a conscious decision to do I know, hello, Hi, I'm me, have we met?

Anyhoo, I did this only for me and not for any sexual purpose, trust me. Honey came home, found me naked as a jaybird sprawled out on the chaise reading a book on JavaScript having a peppermint mocha and listening to Etta James. NOT IN MY PLANS for the day. Nor was the explanation as to why exactly I was in the condition mentioned earlier. But he's French, and I'm odd so the end result was both of us sprawled out naked on the chaise, sharing (not happy about) my peppermint mocha, reading our respective pieces of literature (or instruction) listening to Etta James. This was 5 years into our relationship and he mentioned that he had never actually seen me lights on, no reason, relaxed & just naked. He said it was the most beautiful image he ever saw and of course this led to sex, but aside from that it was the naturality of the state I was in that was the beauty of it all.

I've said it a million times, I'm a curvy chicka, big butt & boobs with thick thighs. So for me, being comfortable in the nude was hard to do, at first. It took a lot to be able to stand in front of a full length mirror naked and see all the flaws and self-perceived imperfections. I'll never be a super model, nor a not so super model, but for the most part becoming comfortable naked was for me:

Learning to accept my body (easier said than done)
Doing everything I can to be healthy (eating well and exercise)
Accepting that we are all built differently (any image will show this fact, accepting it meh, that's iffy)

I got to review all my scars. Yes snakes do bite people on the butt when they are peeing in the woods. (IJS) Yes, scratching poison ivy relentlessly for days on end will end up in scaring the skin. Yes small dogs teeth attached to an ankle does scar. Finally, yes that random puberty induced zit that you pick at will leave a scar. Then the honey and I got to spend time comparing scars and laughing at the memories. It was this second that I became comfortable with being naked, in more that the physical way, with another person. It's the best feeling in the world! It's being vulnerable, honest, open and naked!!!!

So I've put together my lists of 5's: Five things that keep us from being naked for no reason, Five benefits of being naked for no reason, Five ways to get comfortable being naked for no reason. Buckle up, here we go...

Five things that keep us from being naked for no reason.

1. Self Perception. The way we see ourselves is often in the harshest light possible. We are so prone to see only our flaws, anything else I was taught was vanity. So I say to hell with that, we all have the right to love ourselves; flaws, scars, curves, beauty all of it and all at the same time.

2. The way we believe others see us. This is a big one, and hard to get past. Simply put if someone is in that close of a proximity to you and they are judging you on your body, show em the door and be naked when you do it!

3. Privacy. Yes, being naked should probably be done in private space. Though, in many cultures naked is accepted and good. It's the level of prudishness that our society has placed on us that makes this a requirement. I can talk about how easy it is to walk nude on a beach in France, except I can't because it's so ingrained in my psyche that I can't do it.

4. Appropriateness. Is it ok to be naked for reasons other than washing and sex? I wouldn't suggest standing over the fireplace or splitting wood in the nude. No need to watch the newest scooby doo with your kiddies in the nude, but outside of exposing yourself to children or the unsuspecting neighbor WHY NOT?

5. Comfort. It's easier to be comfortable in a pair of yoga pants and loose-fitting t-shirt, sure, but you're not naked.

Five benefits of being naked for no reason.

1. Confidence. If you can get comfortable being in your own skin, and I mean only your skin, your confidence level is forced to rise, begrudgingly perhaps. Lets face it, we wear things to accentuate the positive, to bring out those parts of us we are comfortable with. Being nude for no reason puts it all out there, our small or large butts and our knobby knees or what ever part we keep trying to hide.

2. Air. Exposed skin absorbs more nutrients! Also, being without clothing allows your skin to BREATHE. Without air, we would die and when we leave the largest organ (our skin) bound up covered with layer upon layer or air blocking clothes our skin suffocates. Clothing also "holds in" natural body odors, causes sweat to become stale and stinky. Fresh air combats the odor molecules that can accumulate on the skin and in our body hair.

3. UV Light. If you know of or suffer from the "Winter Blues", this is a vitamin D deficiency that happens because the sun is out for shorter periods. The skin transforms sun light into vitamin D and in turn vitamin D helps the body to regulate calcium & phospahte levels. AND (yes there's more) The light that gives you a tan also destroys the bacteria that gives you acne.

4. Blood flow. Bra straps, tight elastic bands, tight-fitting anything restricts the blood flow. Better blood flow and circulation is key to a healthy heart.

5. Weight. Metabolism and digestion are improved because the waist is not in a constant state of being bound. Organs are able to shift to their pre-restrictive clothing permitted positions. The mental and emotional benefit also increases our desire to exercise & eat right(Double edged sword there).

Five ways to get comfortable being naked for no reason.

1. Take small steps in private. You have to be comfortable with yourself before you will be able to be comfortable in the presence of another person while nude.

2. Spend a moment after your shower or bath. Let your body air dry, less those parts that take too long (under the breast, the genital, between the toes) This is not only good for the skin, but it gives you those few moments being naked for no reason other than you have to dry off!

3. Find something beautiful about your own body. Focus on this. Adore this. Let your confidence grow in this one area and watch it seed and grow throughout your body. All things start pretty small, confidence is the same in this aspect. It can be as simple as a small beauty mark that sits in an alluring place, your eyes, what ever it is. Every person has something about them that is beautiful!

4. Sleeping nude or near nude. Take a short nap if you sleep with a partner, and do it nude. If you can't do this, find something as close to nude as you can get. A huge t-shirt and no skivvies will work. OR talk to your partner, see how they feel about having a nude night in bed. Not necessarily for sex, but for sleeping. Sleeping with a partner in the nude is less intimidating that standing in front of them in the nude, you can pull that sheet in close and have a modicum of coverage but YOU are still nude.

5. Exfoliate, groom, mani/pedi and tint if necessary. Keeping the skin exfoliated is a huge part in keeping us comfortable in the nude. Grooming goes a long way in creating a higher comfort level, even for those out there who choose a natural state, trimming is a great practice. Mani/Pedi both men and women can benefit from this, keeping our hands and feet well maintained just feels good. I love extending a well manicured hand when meeting someone (with my clothes on!). Tint, we all have to moisturize our skin, if you have uneven skin tone or texture, there are some great tinted moisturizers that are body safe. There's an old saying, if you can't tone it, tan it. True statement.

So get naked, get comfortable, stay sexy and as always...


Stay Curvy
XOXO

Gender Identity Resources

Last night I had the pleasure of chatting with an awesome transsexual woman. She is fun, intelligent, beautiful and very much as a woman as I am. I however had the luxury that most of us enjoy in that I was born with my physical sex matching my mental and emotional sex. I've never been uncomfortable in my own skin, I've never felt torn between what I can physically see and what I emotionally and mentally know to be true.

I can't tell you how much my research into transgender issues and gender identity has affected me. I do have a whole new understanding of some very serious issues facing our lovely sisters and brothers out there. 41% of the transgender population in the United States have attempted suicide according to www.livescience.com. When my guest indicated that she was to the point of detachment and ready to be done with the struggle it nearly broke my heart.

Then it kind of pissed me off because she had done nothing wrong! She struggled to hide, suppress, repress and otherwise deny who she was and for what? The sake of society being comfortable with her being a part of it. Let me say that again in bossy caps... SHE HAD TO HIDE, SUPPRESS, REPRESS AND DENY WHO SHE WAS FOR THE SAKE OF SOCIETIES COMFORT. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who can see how wrong that is. It's not the individual (in this instance) who needs to change who they are (they are not criminal or deviant), its society that needs to change how it views its members.

Our brothers and sisters are being marginalized, trivialized and sexualized by a self proclaimed all inclusive society. Well naysayers, cry me a freaking river! My transgender brothers and sisters are just as valuable to society as every other member of that society! The only perversion with this condition is the way the non-affected choose to view those transgender members of society.

So anyhoo, before I go off on another "asshat" episode (which by the way I did get into trouble for hehe) Let me do what I intended to do at the very beginning of this episode. Share some resources. If you know someone who is struggling and doesn't have access to the internet, print out the phone numbers for them.

CenterLink This awesome link has a map of LGBT centers nation wide.

Gender Talk offers up a huge resource asset.

The HRC a hugely active association with news etc...

GLAAD's Transgender Resources page.

Susan's Place another great Transgender resource page.

TransEquality is a National Organisation dedicated to establishing Equality for Transgender people.

The Transgender Center offers even more resources and the awesome Gender Bill of Rights by JoAnn Roberts Ph.D

More Light Presbyterians is an awesome organization that promotes acceptance and provides guides for spiritual leaders to be inclusive of ALL people. (Kudos to MLP!)

AAMFT provides links to counseling services for the Transgender person, their family etc...

The Trevor Project The Trevor Project, if you or someone you know is in crisis please contact The Trevor Project here or at 866-488-7386 or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Employers with Transgender Friendly Policies This says it all.

Sex Talk with Curvy : Gender Identity Yes, shameless self promotion! :D A girl has to do what a girl has to do. Karin is really exceptional and an inspiration!

I said in this episode that I would gather resources, here they are. One thing I do want to point out to people is this, if you know someone who is dealing with gender identity issues share these resources with them. If you are a family member of someone who is dealing with gender identity issues, read these. If you are interested in activism and openly supporting our Transgender brothers and sisters, get involved. If you are one of the referenced "asshats" cut it the F out! Seriously. We don't like it!

It's so much easier to be who you are, to be true to yourself than it is to try to please the whole of society. (It can't be done anyway) So promote what you love, promote the rights of others it's so much easier than fighting against something. If you think about it there is so much negativity in this world, if we all quit fighting the things we don't like and started promoting those things we wish to be implemented life would be so much more peaceful and fulfilling.

So in that spirit, I promise not to call anyone an asshat (for being an asshat) for the next 60 minutes. Now I need to go lock myself in my bedroom and make sure to have all electronical (yes it's made up) things turned off so I can keep my promise. :D

Stay true to who you ARE, stay sexy, stay strong and as always...


Stay Curvy!
XOXO

Intimacy and Chemistry

We hear a lot about chemistry. But how does it relate to intimacy and how do we keep that chemical cocktail fresh in a long-term relationship?

A huge part of a couples chemistry lies in their basic level of communication. As with all communication, it starts with the largest sex organ in the human body, the brain. So often I'm harping on communication, communication, COMMUNICATION. Even in some of the research I'm doing on upcoming segments, I'm still amazed at the practices of communication that are in some circles a set baseline for relationships.

Now, communication can be many things to many different people. I communicate daily with hundreds of people regarding sex and sexual issues. On the surface this is intimate, but in actuality, it's not. It's almost clinical. We can chat with our girlfriends about sex and while it's an intimate subject, and with our intimate girlfriends it's still a far cry from being that intimate communication with our lovers.

It's one thing to say I'd really like ____ to try this with me to a friend or counselor. But at times saying I'd like you to do this ____ to me tonight when you get home, is a bit more difficult. There is a safety issue. What will my partner think of me? Will they still love me? How will this change my relationship? It is a huge step in communication and an even larger step in chemistry department.

It's through this intimate communication that we can maintain, and even grow our chemical connection to our partners. One way we can increase our chemistry is by some sexy talk, expressing our fantasies to our lovers. Chemistry in an intimate relationship is created through intimate communication.

A sexy text, note or message throughout the day can go a long way to creating some chemistry between you and your partner. This is part of expressing ourselves, both as partners as well as sexual beings.

Another way to ensure and even increase the chemistry is to always try to look your best. Look, I get it, times are tough, stress levels are high, the demands on our time are relentless. BUT, we can choose to ignore ourselves and our appearance and run the risk of losing it all together or we can MAKE time for ourselves and keeping our appearance nice to look at. It's pretty simple, we are all mammals, and mammals are generally attracted to other mammals who offer ideal genetic materials for procreation. That's the science, here's the real deal. If you are in a long-term relationship and have fallen into that married pudgy, half leg shave, wearing the mickey mouse sweatshirt with a little vomit still on it from the baby earlier this afternoon, girlfriend you gotta get out of that.

Don't even begin to think that guys don't fall into that as well. They used to put on cologne to meet us for coffee, shave, shower and pick out some decent clothes to wear upon our dates.

Attractiveness does go both ways and it is truly up to each individual within this partnership to keep their side of this unspoken deal up. I understand that it's hard with the obligations of life and family to think of ourselves. It might even look like vanity to some. But I think most women will agree, how they feel is based on how they feel they look. We've been told that it's vanity, we've been warned not to be that "high maintenance" woman, it's been made ok to let ourselves go after marriage. Well, it's not. We're not. And only to a certain extent is it ok.

One way to ensure your attractiveness to you mate is to know what particular body part they like, are they a leg man, a butt man etc... this does go both ways guys, we ladies like and are attracted to different body parts as well. I know we often say it's "his eyes" or "his smile" but most of us secretly are checking out other parts as well. Me, I love me some strong thighs on a man. Don't get me wrong, upper body strength is important, but I think that strong, thick, healthy, hard thighs are awesome. There's several reasons, the prevalent one today is in the event of a zombie attack, if, as I'm running in my 6 inch spiked heel boots and twist my ankle, will my partner be able to effectively toss me over his shoulder and run us both to safety? IJS. Spindly male thighs, can't run as far or as fast during a zombie attack and I run the risk of limping off on my own and being forced to tarzanna up a tree and through the overhead branches again risking more life and limb to get away. It's a survival strategy. True story. Anyhooo...

Find out what part your lover likes and accentuate that. If he (or she) is a thigh lover, get those jeans on that are a little snug (not tight, again zombies, getting away, tight-fitting restrictive movement jeans not a good scenario) around the thigh or wear that short skirt with some thigh high stockings. There is nothing wrong with drawing attention to the part or parts of your body that your lover likes.

A second tip to increase chemistry in your relationship is the simplest one of all. LOOK AT EACH OTHER! We tend to stop doing this as we are inundated with the demands of life, we might end up spending our sit down meal time watching our toddlers to make sure they stop feeding spaghetti to the parrot rather than looking and conversing with our partners.

One technique you can use to increase intimacy and bonding while looking at your partner is to look straight into their pupils. You can tell a lot about your lovers level of interest by checking out their pupils. A persons pupils will increase in size or dilate when they are interested or turned on. Conversely, they will constrict when your lover loses interest or become disturbed.

Looking directly into your lovers eyes or a lovers gaze has been the bedrock of love stories, erotic art and poetry since man and woman have had the power of conversation and expression. It's also hugely erotic and full of promise. So try it. Stop having that conversation over band-width battling laptops, look at each other and speak!

A third suggestion is that when you are having this intense, eye gazing convo lean in toward your lover. Let them know that they not only hold your mind and eyes captive but your body is drawn to them as well. Be a magnet to your lovers iron and vis e versa. I'm not saying to cling to them or hang like a puppy on each breath they take, but show your physical interest by a slight lean in. (no one really likes a Cling-on, really I've seen star wars or star trek and ya don't see babes hanging on that dude.)

Fourth, engage your partner in something exciting. Get your adrenaline pumping together. Let me give you an example. You can have sex after a weekend day of laundry, dishes and yard work and it might be great. OR You can have sex after just having jumped together 20,000 feet out of a perfectly good airplane ON PURPOSE! The adrenaline alone is nearly enough to orgasm, but imagine you are with your lover on some exciting intrigue or adventure. The sharing of an exciting event, some heart racing adventure is enough to boost your chemical attraction together because its something you have shared and experienced together!

Last, but not least. Harness the power of touch. Don't go all PDA on me in the mall or anything, but why not hold hands? Show your appreciation to each other with a long lingering toe curling kiss. Smack that ass as he's walking by with 60 pounds of moss for the winter garden. It's playful, its fun and it again is simple proximity creating chemistry between you and your lover.

Here's your chemistry check list. Consider it homework and get back to me later on how it goes. HEHE

1. Keep it real, keep it sexy. Show off your foxiness. Accentuate the positive.
2. Look into my eyes. Look at each other. Peer into the soul of your lover.
3. The lean in. Come closer my lovelies. Be drawn in by your lover.
4. Excite the mind and body. Get that adrenaline pumping. Adventure with your love.
5. Feels goooooooooood. Touch me there. Smack that ass!

Seriously, these are pretty basic. Yes. They seem almost simplistic, but isn't it always the simple things that often get left behind as we march away on our paths of life? It's easy to forget to look at our partner when there are so many things out there demanding our visual attention. It's easy to lean back and relax after a long hard day of work rather than lean in to show our interest.

Try this, see if it doesn't create within you and your lover a little extra spark, those thoughts that make us speed home from work just to see our lovers.

Stay sexy, stay safe and as always...


Stay Curvy
XOXO

The truth about

body image...

There seems to be a battle of body images going on. Frankly it's bullshit. Sorry, but I'm going to call a spade a spade. After speaking with two awesome women last night whom both survived breast cancer it got me to thinking. (It happens, zip it :D ) I understand that we each have differences some of us are thin and some are not. Some are confident and some are not. Some are tall while others are short. So while we enjoy our differences, and the fact that unless we are an identical twin, no one else in the world looks like us. (the doppelgänger theory has yet to be proven scientifically)

 Yet rather than celebrating these differences we so enjoy, we choose to battle for the "hearts and minds" of our counterparts in the sexual arena. Why? I'm quite tired of the mantras going about comparing body types.  My name says it all, I am curvy. I got curves so sharp they need a speed restriction and while I can relate to this (because it is my body type) I'm NOT IDENTIFIED (yes I used Bossy caps) by this. Each image is of a breathtakingly beautiful woman. Her body "type" is the last thing I see. The first image I see confidence and oozing sexuality, the second image is just wow, the third image I see her beautiful lines and the fourth image I see a woman who is confident and fun and comfortable with herself. (Oh and the first image I see a great pair of shoes, OMG call me I have to know where to get those!!!)

What is the freaking point? I know right, I'm getting to it. The point is that this battle of body types isn't helping. Mantras like "REAL women have curves" only trivialize and demean our thin sisters. So cut it the F out. Seriously. I read somewhere the other day, a woman had posted that she was a "big girl" and had yadda yadda yadda issue. The very first response to her was something like "Don't try to make yourself real by saying your fat..." I thought to myself what a twattish thing to say. (Sorry for the language, I had to make up a word to fit my feelings on the comment and that was as nasty as I could come up with)

There seem to be two very divided camps on body image, those who believe that you're not real if you don't have curves and those who believe that you are slobbish and unhealthy if you do. These camps are divided not really over any issue other than competition for mates. Sorry, but it's true. It's our genetic makeup, for a majority of the population, to seek out the most suitable mate. Contrary to popular belief, it's not ones appearance that initially attracts our mate, but our chemical make up. Our Pheromones. Then it's our social compatibility, meaning are we comfortable being ourselves around potential mates, can we have a conversation with them. Then comes the physical attraction.

I've been all over the board on "my type" I've gone from Harley guy, to Judge, to Military, to Gynecologist (please don't get me started on this one) American good ole' boy, American Indian, to Italian, to Russian and finally to French. I can appreciate me some Wesley Snipes and yet find myself oddly attracted to that kinda skeevy, sketchy character on the Walking Dead. (You know the one with the cross-bow) At times, I can appreciate the rock hard abs and the strength they embody, others I crave the softer more comfortable type.

The point I'm getting to is that while all these male body types exist, you don't see men waging a body war with each other. They are getting it right over on us ladies. You don't see a man say, "OMG Ralph, look at his butt, it's just so big." *as I break into song and dance singing I like Big Butts* Men don't seem to have this body type issue with each other, yet it would seem what we THINK men prefer in women has created a "Body War" between women.

It's real simple, most men (and women) have a variety of tastes in their sexual partners. At one point in my younger years, I weighed in at a whopping 103lbs soaking wet. 96 of those pounds were my butt. (only a minor exaggeration) This was long before JLo and her fabulous ass hit the scene. I was dating a "gentleman" who made the comment that my butt was too big and I needed to work out. So after 967,421 squats and lunges the tape measure devastated me with a growth rate of nearly an inch for my backside. It got bigger!!!! :(( I should have said then, what Margaret Cho so eloquently said, something to the tune of If you are finding flaws with my body while you are F'ing me, then you shouldn't be F'ing me. But I was young, and had fallen under the Cosmopolitan spell of "this is the perfect body", and the Maxim idea of what EVERY man wants.

It wasn't until I went into business for myself that I learned it's all about marketing. This ideal of what is beautiful and what you need to BUY to get this look so people will find you attractive, when people find you attractive you have power and with power comes the finer things in life. All in all a great circle of the "good life", but there is one flaw. No matter how hard you try, you can't Photoshop who you are.

So now we have this raging battle of female body types and frankly we look like complete idiots when we engage in the whole Curvy vs Skinny craptastic BS. It's shallow and vicious and frankly no man I know wants a woman who is sooooo self-absorbed they have to bash another woman because of her body type. It may be statistically proven that heavier women have a harder time in the work force, getting a job etc... But who is doing the hiring? Is it another judgey panties sister who has to make a point regarding body type? I don't know the answer.

Finally, and only then will I step down off my reinforced soap box, there is a difference in the body type war and the health war. It comes down to this, if someone you are F'ing says you're too this or too that ditch them, they aren't worth your time. If your DOCTOR, (who btw you should not be F'ing) says you're too this or too that, you need to listen to them and take the action to get out of that "too much range".

So here's my list of sexy...
Confidence
Attitude
A loving heart
Inner Strength
Personality

No matter the body type war, stay true to yourself, stay confident, stay healthy and as always...

Stay Curvy (or not ;) )

P.S. Wesley call me. :D Rawr Rawr Rawr (I'mma be a vampire for Halloween and might need a good staking O_O)

Dr. Laura Bermans Veronica Pelvic Exerciser

Sooooooo I was super excited to get chosen to be one of CalExotics "SexPerts" as a Sex Toy Reviewer and I did get my first free tester toy last week. So now you know why I've been so quiet on my blog. :D

This is what I received Dr. Laura Bermans Veronica pelvic exerciser you can find it on my boutique site at Curvys After Midnight

This products packaging was extremely superior with the product sealed in its own little bubble wrap pouch. After I popped all the bubbles, because well, it's bubble wrap, I was surprised at how smooth and seamless this little gem was. It is nice to look at and non-porous so it's super easy to keep clean and sanitized.

It's well-balanced and weighted nicely. However, if a person is not used to pelvic exercisers or Kegels it might leave her wondering exactly how to get the most benefit from this. So I would have been happier to have found a little sheet of instructions. Really, just a sentence or two to would suffice to ensure that the consumer is using it properly and getting the maximum benefit from the product. Not every woman has used these types of exercisers, so the lack of guidance in effective use and functionality detracts just a tad from the overall product, in my opinion.

It has 3 weighted sections, one tip has a nice little g-spot angle and the other a rounded tip. In my opinion, the one downfall of the Veronica is that if you are using it as an exerciser you are pretty much stuck in the bathroom as you do them. You cannot move about like you may be able to with other Kegel exercisers. Now for others who need that specific time of day and activity in order to remember, it might be a positive for them. It really depends on if you have the time, drive and motivation to spend those few precious moments in the bathroom or bedroom doing nothing but these exercises. As with all muscle exercises, consistency is the key to success.

You insert either end inside the VJ while standing, gently holding the other end and contract the pelvic floor muscles to hold the tool in. Since I regularly do Kegel exercises with another product, this one, as far as the exercise itself is quite comparable. I am built a little like a horse, thick thighs and such, I could technically hold it in with my thighs alone, so to further the experiment I combined the exercise with a high squat.

Being dual purpose in that it also acts as a weighted massager you get sexy fun and functionality.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Nicely Packaged
Smooth and seamless
Well weighted
Non-Porous
Dual purpose Pelvic Exerciser and Weighted Massager

Cons:

My package did not come with instructions.
Limitation on movement. (You can't walk about)

All in all it is a pretty handy little exerciser. Working the pelvic floor muscles is beneficial in so many ways.

Including but not limited to:

Stronger vaginal muscles for more pleasurable love-making
Ensures against urinary incontinence
Creates a stronger pelvic floor to keep all the pelvic organs in place
Consistent pelvic exercises will ensure against uterine prolapse

Like the rest of our bodies, the pelvic floor muscles need to be exercised to stay in shape. So spend a few minutes each day working these muscles as you do the rest of your body. For the past week, each day I've used the Dr. Laura Berman Pelvic Exerciser. Contracting the pelvic muscles for three seconds and release for three seconds 15 times in a rep and 3 reps a day. You should feel the VJ, urethra and anus tightening as you work the pelvic floor muscles. If you are feeling it in you belly or booty, you're working the wrong set of muscles. Using a weighted tool such as the Dr. Laura Bermans Veronica pelvic exerciser will benefit you through resistance training just as weight training benefits our other muscles.

So get busy, get strong and as always...


Stay Curvy

XOXO