Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Part Two of Intimacy and Sexual Fulfillment

You can find the original post here, at the original blog.

In the first segment of this series we discussed communication.  While communication is highly important, we can not end it with talk, we have to take action as well.  I talk about sex and sexuality all the time, with strangers, family, friends and unknown listeners.  I can even discuss intimacy and things I'd like or my love would like but with those who are not the aforementioned lover, in these cases the intimacy stops there with the discussion.

We have to remember that the communication aspect is like giving a speech, you're expressing your ideas.  Now put that into this context, if Bill Gates, the guy that owns the world, yeah him. Or Steven Jobs? What if he only expressed his fantastic thoughts on an undeveloped program called Windows, then never took the action required to make it happen?  Seriously, where would computer technology be today?  What if Steven Jobs, choose to talk but not act?

Now sure that is a pretty grandiose example, but when you think of your long term relationship, it's pretty grandiose as well and could span several years of your life, that you can't get back.  So think of your intimate communications as a type of foreplay.  Having the discussion is enough to get me all randied up, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that aspect.

The next step is one of action.  I've been known to text the honey with an directions, date & time for us to meet.  Usually under the guise of a work related thing, but it can be just a quick meet up for lunch as well.  Now this isn't an every week thing, we can go months without either of us wanting to plot something sexy to get that fire lit again.  So I generally take advantage of this fact and set our meeting place at our local naughty store, lingerie store or one of our fabulous wineries in the area.  Now, I own an adult store, so saying "Guess what I got from UPS today?" just doesn't hold the same excitement as it did a few years ago, but it's a fabulous intro for those who shop online for their sexy toys.

I know, an awful ploy to get the honey to tell me what he thinks about this toy or that piece of lingerie.  Plus I love his reaction when we are browsing the sexy offerings.  Personally I like to schedule these sexy dates a few days in advance of our weekend so that we can each have something to think about and get us waiting breathlessly for our couples only night.

I've had a lot of people talk about spontaneity, yes yes yes.  This is fabulous, but not necessarily going to happen if you are in a sexual rut or going through a dry spell, so to speak.  The entire point of this segment is to help you get out of that funk.  BUT, spontaneity can still be a included in this.  Go through the planning process and surprise your lover with it at your time of choice, you can encourage them to do the same.  Regardless, the use of communication should take place first. Get your limits, fantasies and sexual desires expressed so you each have a basis for setting up your sexy night together.

Now, everything is set in motion.  You've discussed your desires, plotted out some fun time whether together or alone, had a sexy pre-date meeting, gathered all your supplies or sexy wear, planned a pre/post sensual snack, set the mood with lighting and some sexy scents in the air.  Now all that is left is to show up, explore and enjoy each other.

What are you waiting for?  It's a considerably small amount of time to plan a sexy play date.  What is mind numbing sex worth to you?  It doesn't have to cost you a penny to get intimate with your lover.  More often than not answering the door when my honey comes home in nothing but my favorite heels and a smile does the trick.

Intimacy and great sex takes a little bit of effort, but it is so worth it!  No one is born being a great lover, no one is born knowing how to act in an intimate relationship.  It's well worth the effort and the pay out in the end will blow your mind!

So stop reading this, set your pre sexy time meeting, and show up!!!!  Of course and as always...

Stay Curvy

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