Saturday, October 13, 2012

Private Parts

and Public Opinion.  I really really really hate discussing political topics. With the election going on and "hot topics" like this going around, I tend to have an issue with keeping my big mouth shut.

Now there is a term, biting off more than you can chew and even with my big mouth this can still happen. I'm quite certain that this will be one of those times. So buckle in and get ready for a ride on the Curvies Opinion Train. (Doesn't even SOUND like fun) But this is bothering me so I'm going to get it off my chest and deal with the ramifications later, like laters baby!

Earlier this weekend I'm chatting with a gay couple, who by the way are adorable. The topic comes up, what is my position on gay marriage. Me, being the anti-clause of the political holiday, I usually stand there with my fingers in my ears going "I can't hear you, I can't hear you, I'm not listening, I'm not listening" It usually works for me, unless it's in regards to this topic or the cop who pulled me over the other day. (For the record I wasn't speeding, I had to pee)

So after being unable to avoid the conversation, I had to come up with a position. I fumbled about for a moment and finally said "What does it matter where you put your private parts, as long as you are with a willing partner" Apparently that was the lamest position this couple heard. I got the smirk and hand on the hip, "Say what" that made me continue to ramble on about private parts etc... They gracefully let me out of that rather uncomfortable corner I had stumbled my way into, with a simple "Not standing up for anything, means you will fall for anything."

I had this conversation ringing in my head for days and I sat down and started thinking about "Marriage". Marriage is often called an "institution". I recall not so many decades ago, when there were other "institutions" that didn't allow women to be students, or African-Americans to attend. Then I think too, it wasn't so long ago that the laws governing the institution didn't allow mixed race marriages between a man and a woman.

Then I start thinking about sex, (I know it's shocking, right) and I remember that there are laws regarding certain sex acts that were still on the books until 2003 when the US Supreme Court invalidated laws against "Sodomy". (See Lawrence v. Texas.) Prior to this US Supreme Court decision, 36 states had previously repealed these laws but it was this case that invalidated the remaining states "Sodomy" laws. Now, I don't like the word "sodomy" and for the most part, what is considered "sodomy" is any "Unnatural sex act" including Oral Sex and Anal Sex.

Now I have to back up. Say what? You mean to tell me that as a married woman, prior to 2003 I was committing an illegal act? Handcuff me now! (No really I like it) I can't help but offer up a nervous giggle thinking that some bureaucrat in a stuffy brown suit is telling me where I can put my girlie parts, on whom I can put them, and for that matter where I can put them. I'm calling bullshit on this play.

Finally I start to think about how these past laws affect people today, (as if I would ever give up the oral). I try to conceive of how same-sex marriages will affect mine. I try to think of one thing I will lose if my gay couple friends get married. What sanctity am I losing? How does it take away from my own marriage? How will it affect my child? You know, I might not be the sharpest tool in the tool shed, but I cannot for the life of me come up with a single way lesbian and homosexual couples getting married will affect my marriage. After all, if it's an institution doesn't marriage then fall under the 14th amendment and particularly the Equal Protection Clause that says, "the states could not, among other things, deprive people of the equal protection of the laws."

Now for another argument I've been subjected to regarding Marriage Rights, is that marriage is a Christian union in the eyes of G_d. That's sweet, but I have to break it to you, long before Christianity there were union passages such as hand-fastings etc... So again, the modern concept might be claimed by one or another, the simple fact is that people have been coming together in union for thousands of years. I also ask of this notion, if it's a Christian union, then is the marriage between atheists not a real marriage?

So I like to talk about sex, but when the government or spiritual conglomerate begin to tell me who, when and how I tend to get a little "tinkled" off. It's my parts, and as long as the person I'm backin' it up on is of majority age and a willing partner there should be no laws regarding my union. What's next? Will we say married couples who engage in BDSM are committing an unnatural sex act and therefore their marriage is null and void? As for the sanctity of marriage, puhleese, the sanctity of marriage went away with $499.99 + filing fee divorce attorneys, it died when it became easier to get a divorce than it was to get married!

Maybe we need to work on creating happy, satisfying, safe marriages for ALL couples, rather than worrying about where people put their private parts within their marriage.

Anyhoo, my only opinion is that if you are lucky enough to find love, to find that person you want to spend your life with CONGRATS and go for it! It's not my business what you do with your private parts, nor your tax write-offs based on your sexuality.

It's my desire to make sure you have fun, stay safe and as always...

Stay Curvy!!



  1. The moral majority simply doesn't like the idea that this is yet another battle they've lost in the "everyone has to be married and straight" department. And, last I heard, the only legal sex in the United States is married sex, not that's been stopping folks from getting their cookies crumbled... and by any means necessary.

    Here's the thing, though. The federal government just cannot step in and lay down the law about this - the Constitution prohibits such interference so even though they're riffing about this in DC, it's actually up to the states to decide who can marry who even if the private parts of the married couple are the same parts. The states, well, they're doing whatever they feel they need to do to maintain moral justness in this and trying to hold on to a heteronormative point of view that has been slowly going by the wayside for quite some time now.

    Just like sex and sexuality, the meaning of being married is being rewritten and there's nothing those jerks in DC can do about it - and that doesn't make them happy because the world just ain't as straight as they thought it was.

  2. The way i see it is that Uncle Sugar is trying clean everyone else's laundry all the while trying to instill a puritanical rule over the citizens of the U.S. . Meanwhile they are constantly betraying their on hypocritical beliefs. We are constantly hearing about this Senator or that Congressman getting caught in one sexual scandal after another, whether it is a midnight tryst with a high price call girl to cheating on their wives and oh vice presidents and presidents fall into that category, to politicians being outed for being on the down low (DL) to money scandals.
    They need to read my poem "Dance,"'t-bother-either/ . Because they are so much like the hypocritical puritanical slut mother in the poem saying do as I say not as I do.
    I agree with Curvy if your fortunate to find a lasting relationship in a straight environment or in the transgendered world as either a lesbian, gay, big or transsexual couple then so be it. Who you have and how you have sex is up to you.
    For my money sex is meant to be enjoyed in any form and fashion as long as it is between consent adults. I will get and enjoy sex anyway I can!

  3. Thank you both for your awesome and thoughtful comments. Sexuality is such a fun topic and I so enjoy exploring it. ;) I'm super excited about an upcoming show I'm having with the lovely Karin. The show is geared toward Gender Identity and Transition. I believe this is going to air the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

    I'm super excited and hope that we will be able to help anyone struggling out there with some helpful tips from someone who has been there.