Sunday, October 28, 2012

The truth about

body image...

There seems to be a battle of body images going on. Frankly it's bullshit. Sorry, but I'm going to call a spade a spade. After speaking with two awesome women last night whom both survived breast cancer it got me to thinking. (It happens, zip it :D ) I understand that we each have differences some of us are thin and some are not. Some are confident and some are not. Some are tall while others are short. So while we enjoy our differences, and the fact that unless we are an identical twin, no one else in the world looks like us. (the doppelgänger theory has yet to be proven scientifically)

 Yet rather than celebrating these differences we so enjoy, we choose to battle for the "hearts and minds" of our counterparts in the sexual arena. Why? I'm quite tired of the mantras going about comparing body types.  My name says it all, I am curvy. I got curves so sharp they need a speed restriction and while I can relate to this (because it is my body type) I'm NOT IDENTIFIED (yes I used Bossy caps) by this. Each image is of a breathtakingly beautiful woman. Her body "type" is the last thing I see. The first image I see confidence and oozing sexuality, the second image is just wow, the third image I see her beautiful lines and the fourth image I see a woman who is confident and fun and comfortable with herself. (Oh and the first image I see a great pair of shoes, OMG call me I have to know where to get those!!!)

What is the freaking point? I know right, I'm getting to it. The point is that this battle of body types isn't helping. Mantras like "REAL women have curves" only trivialize and demean our thin sisters. So cut it the F out. Seriously. I read somewhere the other day, a woman had posted that she was a "big girl" and had yadda yadda yadda issue. The very first response to her was something like "Don't try to make yourself real by saying your fat..." I thought to myself what a twattish thing to say. (Sorry for the language, I had to make up a word to fit my feelings on the comment and that was as nasty as I could come up with)

There seem to be two very divided camps on body image, those who believe that you're not real if you don't have curves and those who believe that you are slobbish and unhealthy if you do. These camps are divided not really over any issue other than competition for mates. Sorry, but it's true. It's our genetic makeup, for a majority of the population, to seek out the most suitable mate. Contrary to popular belief, it's not ones appearance that initially attracts our mate, but our chemical make up. Our Pheromones. Then it's our social compatibility, meaning are we comfortable being ourselves around potential mates, can we have a conversation with them. Then comes the physical attraction.

I've been all over the board on "my type" I've gone from Harley guy, to Judge, to Military, to Gynecologist (please don't get me started on this one) American good ole' boy, American Indian, to Italian, to Russian and finally to French. I can appreciate me some Wesley Snipes and yet find myself oddly attracted to that kinda skeevy, sketchy character on the Walking Dead. (You know the one with the cross-bow) At times, I can appreciate the rock hard abs and the strength they embody, others I crave the softer more comfortable type.

The point I'm getting to is that while all these male body types exist, you don't see men waging a body war with each other. They are getting it right over on us ladies. You don't see a man say, "OMG Ralph, look at his butt, it's just so big." *as I break into song and dance singing I like Big Butts* Men don't seem to have this body type issue with each other, yet it would seem what we THINK men prefer in women has created a "Body War" between women.

It's real simple, most men (and women) have a variety of tastes in their sexual partners. At one point in my younger years, I weighed in at a whopping 103lbs soaking wet. 96 of those pounds were my butt. (only a minor exaggeration) This was long before JLo and her fabulous ass hit the scene. I was dating a "gentleman" who made the comment that my butt was too big and I needed to work out. So after 967,421 squats and lunges the tape measure devastated me with a growth rate of nearly an inch for my backside. It got bigger!!!! :(( I should have said then, what Margaret Cho so eloquently said, something to the tune of If you are finding flaws with my body while you are F'ing me, then you shouldn't be F'ing me. But I was young, and had fallen under the Cosmopolitan spell of "this is the perfect body", and the Maxim idea of what EVERY man wants.

It wasn't until I went into business for myself that I learned it's all about marketing. This ideal of what is beautiful and what you need to BUY to get this look so people will find you attractive, when people find you attractive you have power and with power comes the finer things in life. All in all a great circle of the "good life", but there is one flaw. No matter how hard you try, you can't Photoshop who you are.

So now we have this raging battle of female body types and frankly we look like complete idiots when we engage in the whole Curvy vs Skinny craptastic BS. It's shallow and vicious and frankly no man I know wants a woman who is sooooo self-absorbed they have to bash another woman because of her body type. It may be statistically proven that heavier women have a harder time in the work force, getting a job etc... But who is doing the hiring? Is it another judgey panties sister who has to make a point regarding body type? I don't know the answer.

Finally, and only then will I step down off my reinforced soap box, there is a difference in the body type war and the health war. It comes down to this, if someone you are F'ing says you're too this or too that ditch them, they aren't worth your time. If your DOCTOR, (who btw you should not be F'ing) says you're too this or too that, you need to listen to them and take the action to get out of that "too much range".

So here's my list of sexy...
A loving heart
Inner Strength

No matter the body type war, stay true to yourself, stay confident, stay healthy and as always...

Stay Curvy (or not ;) )

P.S. Wesley call me. :D Rawr Rawr Rawr (I'mma be a vampire for Halloween and might need a good staking O_O)


  1. Nothing like a good old fashion Fing Rant eh lady. lol

  2. I know right. LOL everything today started with the FWord and it was fun. LOL

  3. PS. Btw I agree with you wholeheartedly when I meet someone the first thing I want to know is can they hold a conversation are they comfortable in their own skin and are they genuine. If that isn't all there then I don't give them a second thought. I want to know what the inner beauty has to say...and if I must say I think got really lucky lately...she's smart, witty funny as hell and genuine. Very comfortable in her own skin and I think she is to die for and I the tell her as often as I can! Oh and she checks my shit and doesn't take any crap either! She is a hell of a strong and a compassionate woman! Yep I'm lucky!

  4. Yep, I have never been thin. I have been on average between 137 all the way up to 193. I have never, ever lacked for sexual attention. It is because I am who I am and like who I am. Just listened to your interview about breast cancer. Great job!


  5. I have run the gamut of weight and struggled endlessly with it. It wasn't until I said F it, if you don't like it don't F off to the judgy pant(ies) people that I got my sexy back!

    You are absolutely right, it is because you like who you are and you accept yourself! This is the most attractive trait a person can have. That is what is really sexy! ;)

    Thank you, I tell you what those ladies inspire me tremendously! Thanks for listening, it was really a fun show and gave me a whole new level of respect for all my sisters out there.

  6. Yep me too. Respect. :)

    Really, we need to all love ourselves.